My Life is Awkward: Seminary

On the first day of class, a female student told us a fun fact that she liked spicy food. Thinking this would be clever, I said, “You know what they say: you are what you eat. So you must be pretty hot.” I didn’t realize how it sounded until it was too late.

 

I went through an interactive exhibit showcasing life in developing countries. At one point, the guide asked for volunteers to lay down on a mat where a family of five would sleep. I volunteered along with a woman next to me. When we lay down on the mat, I farted in her face.

 

Growing up my mother used to tell me that she got her Bachelors so I needed to get my Masters, my PhD and then my Expert degree. It wasn’t until a friend asked me what my plans were after seminary that I discovered that this wasn’t a real thing.

 

I once preached to a crowd of several hundred college students. Afterwards one of said students notified me that my fly was open.

 

A friend of mine was dating a girl named “Serena”. But every time I saw her, I kept accidentally calling her “Wendy”. This went on for several months and she would get increasingly more irritated each time. Then one day I discovered that my friend’s ex was named Wendy.

 

I was once a part of a cypher where a group of us were rapping in a college cafeteria to promote the rapper group. I had ambitiously decided to throw in a verse about me farting for some reason. When it was my turn to rap, I said the farting line then completely forgot every other word. I stood there in silence for several seconds until the next rapper pulled me off.

 

One time I accidentally got tipsy with a group of friends because I hadn’t realized that having mimosas on an empty stomach after taking Benadryl and Claritin was not a good idea. I had youth group that afternoon and my friends made me take a nap to sleep the alcohol off. I eventually made it to youth group and taught the kids. But when I stood up at the end, my head started spinning and I dropped to the floor. When they asked what was wrong, I told them I was just tired.

 

One day two friends told me that we should give a professor a hug because he had just lost his wife. I had never spoken to this professor before, but thought it would be a good idea. So I went to hug him, thinking that all three of us would go together, but I made it to him first and he told me not to hug him. Stupidly, I pressed on, and he warned me again with more severity to stop. I turned around to see my two friends lagging behind. This was literally this man’s first impression of me.

 

When I broke up with my ex, I asked my co-workers to pray for me. My ex had the same name as a student I was working with at the time so one of my co-workers assumed that said student was my ex and proceeded to pray for things not to be awkward between the two of us as we continue working together. I let him finish then informed him that they were not the same person.

 

I was sent on a blind date with a fellow seminarian by a professor and upon arriving discovered that the woman was old enough to be my aunt. She was also very aware of the age difference, but we enjoyed the date and a few calls afterwards. I knew this wasn’t going anywhere, but instead of shutting it down, I invited her on a family trip to Sight and Sound in Pennsylvania where she met my parents. We have never spoken again.   

 

Discovering your prophetic gifts can be an awkward time. Here are a few instances. I once knew a woman’s name without every having seen her. So I went up to her and asked her if she knew anyone named “Christine”. She said, “I’m Christine. How’d you know?” I didn’t know what to say so I told her I would pray for her.

The first time I felt God giving me prophetic words for someone it was for a young woman who had recently gotten engaged. I didn’t understand why I kept thinking about this woman and thought I secretly had a crush on her and wondered if she felt awkward around me. So after several semesters of this, I finally confessed to her that she probably thought I was in love with her, but that I wasn’t and was simply getting used to the prophetic.

 

I once had a dream that I was in a romantic relationship with a female friend of mine. I somehow thought that this was some sort of spiritual message about her relationship with God so I told her the dream. She graciously told me that her and God were fine and that the dream was probably about me.

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