First things first, if you’re reading this and you’re pro-choice, I need to let you know who I’m writing to. This post is NOT for someone who’s thinking about having an abortion. For that, see my previous post. This post right here is specifically for anyone who supports abortion and has either already had one or never had one at all, but is pro choice either way. So basically it’s for abortion supporters, not necessarily abortionists.
Also before I move on, I want to acknowledge that my pro life family has been insensitive and relentlessly aggravating to you. And for that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we’ve shouted at you instead of listened to you. I’m sorry that we’ve blamed you for your abuse and shamed you for what’s happened to you. I’m sorry for all the asinine, profoundly stupid, and ignorant arguments we’ve made to prove you wrong.
I don’t want to add to the negativity you’re already used to hearing from us.
I’m not trying to convince you that I’m right. I’m not trying to prove you wrong. I’m actually hoping that you’d prove me wrong…
There’s an observation I’ve made that worries me and I hope you can tell me if this is accurate or not.
Just like pro-lifers believe some erroneous myths about abortionists, there seems to be a pro-choice myth that’s spreading like wildfire. The myth seems to be that a significant number of abortions are done because of rape, incest, or medical complications. But in reality, this doesn’t seem to be true at all. The Guttamacher Institute, one of the leading providers of abortion statistics(and very much pro-choice), says that the main reasons women have abortions are that they already have too many children(25%) or can’t afford another child(23%). Rape and incest(6%), and health issues(4%) are at the very bottom of the list of reasons.
That being said, the argument between pro life and pro choice ultimately sounds like this:
Pro choice: I want to have an abortion.
Pro life: Why?
Pro choice: I can’t take care of another kid right now.
Pro life: Why didn’t you use birth control?
Pro choice: It didn’t work this time. And besides, I shouldn’t have to.
Pro life: This sounds…kind of selfish.
Pro choice: Well, what about when the woman gets raped?
Pro life: Wait. What?
It seems like we’re being given a very emotionally charged reason that’s driving most abortions when that’s not actually the real reason. Not that women aren’t putting serious thought into the decision to have an abortion. Not being able to adequately provide for all your children is a very legitimate reason. But in the grand scheme of things something doesn’t seem to add up. That same logic doesn’t work in other situations.
If a man were to say that he can’t pay child support because he’s financially unstable, we’d tell him, “You should have thought about that before you got her pregnant.” If a drunk driver kills someone and we ask him why he didn’t call an Uber and he says, “I didn’t have money.”, we’d say, “You should’ve thought about that before you got drunk.” But if we say the same thing to a woman, we’re sexist and insensitive.
In addition, the fact that the majority of women who have abortions are white women in their 20’s seems to indicate that this isn’t just a women’s rights issue, this might be a privilege issue. Not necessarily a white privilege issue, but privilege period.
I can fight for someone who’s been raped, who’s been a victim of incest, or whose life is in danger. It’s a lot more difficult for me to fight for someone who’s being inconvenienced. And that’s what worries me–that at the end of the day, we’ve become so blinded by our convenience that we’re willing to sacrifice anything, even children, to protect it.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this isn’t about inconvenience at all. Maybe I’m missing something. I honestly hope I am. And if I am, please let me know.