I’ve noticed an interesting connection between the way men and women think about relationships and about food. And I have a theory that might help both sides understand each other more. Or maybe it will just be more confusing. Either way, hopefully it’s a good read. Here’s the theory…
If you tell a man, “There’s food here.” He’s thinking FOOD. As in, rice, chicken, steak, beef, maybe pizza. Something hearty that will fill him up. So if he walks into the room where you claim there’s food and sees chips and dip, he’s gonna be pissed. This is how women see relationships. So men, if you tell a women, “I think I have feelings for you.” or start doing things that send that message, she’s going to think you have a buffet of feelings to feed her. So if three weeks later you’re still unsure about what your intentions are with her, this is the emotional equivalent of her telling you there’s food here and giving you a bag of Doritos. Don’t do that.
Likewise, because men don’t play with food, this is why it’s so frustrating for us to ask women what they want to eat. Because in the man’s mind, he just wants to put something in his stomach. So the question, “What do you want to eat?” should logically be followed with something like, “Wendy’s…Chinese food…Pizza…” etc. So when the woman replies with, “I don’t know…I’m not in the mood for that…it’s too cold for pizza…” or anything other than a solid answer, it drives the man crazy. Because we don’t play with food. This is also how women see relationships. When a women is hungry for a relationship with a guy, she just wants to be in the relationship. Period the end. So when she asks something like, “What are we?” The logical answer is, “We’re in a relationship. I want to be your boyfriend.” Anything like, “We’re just friends…you’re the homie…I think you’re cool…” is unacceptable. It’s the emotional equivalent of her telling you, “I’m hungry, but I don’t really wanna eat.” It makes no sense whatsoever.
Women seem to have a strange relationship with food that appears at worst noncommittal and at best complicated. But one phenomenon I’ve observed in many women—not all—is some variation of the following. A woman will have a meal at a restaurant then order a dessert, let’s say, a slice of cheesecake, and not be able to finish it. So she asks for a to-go-plate and brings it home. That slice of cheesecake will now last a good three days in her fridge before she actually finishes it. And anytime a man comes into her kitchen and asks if she’s gonna eat it, she replies with this unfathomable response: “I’m saving it.”
I don’t think I’ll ever wrap my mind around why women do this with food, but it’s a near perfect equivalent to what men seem to do emotionally. Ladies, as much as you’ll want to viciously disagree with me on this, what if the reason a guy you’re interested in isn’t moving as quickly as you’d like him to is because he’s “saving it”? Sometimes men want to be in a relationship with a woman, but for whatever reason, they recognize that they’re just not ready. Of course there are some guys who have commitment issues, just like there are some women with dietary issues that impede them from finishing meals in one sitting. But oftentimes, just like a woman knows when she can’t finish the meal yet, a guy knows when he can’t fully commit to a relationship yet. So he waits to be able to put his all into it instead of giving you a half-hearted commitment and breaking up with you in a few months.
So men, be mindful with how you communicate your intentions with women—don’t promise them a buffet of feelings if you only have a snack. And ladies, be patient with men. Don’t force them to dive into a relationship meal if they don’t think they can finish it.
Make sense? Confusing?
Let me know what you think.